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Thursday 1 September 2011

Boobs and bras (with added alien monks and marzipan hair dye)!

It is official - my subconcious is obsessed with bras and boobs!

I was in Leekes (a shop) and I found a strange bra.  It was really gorgeous and soft and looked like it had no support at all, but when I tried it on, (I should add that I stripped off to do this in the middle of the shop!), it was incredibly supportive, sort of moulded itself to me and felt great.  It was comfortable yet really put my boobs where I wanted them to be.

I was very pleased and went around thrusting my boobs at random passers by.  I had two other bras that I had previously bought and wanted to return them, so I went to the tills but they weren't tills, they were comfy chairs.  I was just about to go to explain I no longer had the hanger but I did have the receipt, when it occurred to me that I hadn't bought them from there in the first place, so I went up to a cashier, said 'OH' and walked off!

I then went into a changing room to change back into my own bra but it was a barn and a very old friend Mandy was in there, with her husband Steve.  She was also getting changed and I happened to turn around while she was completely naked.  She went mad at me for seeing her naked and I said it was an accident and besides I didn't care.  I then proceeded to run up to her topless and really jiggle, shake and wave my boobs at her, almost hitting myself in the face in the process.

She just tutted at me and turned away, so I just shrugged, put the new bra back on, had that wonderful feeling of it sort of shrink wrapping itself to my body and making everything all firm, then I walked off, sticking my boobs out as far as I could!

I suddenly became aware that my new bra consisted of tiny alien monks (!) that were all holding me in position and that they were processing lots of information about my size and shape and how I moved, to feed back to their planet!  The summary of their findings was '56'.

I got home and it was an unknown house, but was clearly my family home.  My sister and father were there and were packing to move house.  My Dad kept tipping out the contents of boxes I had packed telling me to pack them again, but better.  The contents got less and less each time and seemed to mainly consist of logs.  I decided I couldn't really be bothered to pack logs and threw them into a shed.

I was then suddenly in a hairdressers and I asked to become a redhead, so they gave me some red marzipan and told me to use it all up by softening it in my hands then rubbing it all on to my hair.  I sat to do this and hoped that the final colour wasn't quite as extreme as the colour of the marzipan.  It was very bright red.

I was sat there ages and ages and it seemed a never ending block of marzipan.  Meanwhile, there was a lot going on in the hairdressers.  People were gossiping and talking about some sort of scandal, running around and whispering in corners.

Eventually a young lad realised I hadn't got a mirror so gave me a small octagonal mirror that was too low so I had to duck down to see in it.  No matter what I did, there was always one bit of my hair that didn't have any red on it and I got really frustrated trying to put it all on while events around me got more and more chaotic!

One of the hairdressers was Kate Whittall - a friend I haven't seen for 15 years or more?

Suddenly ( a different dream?) I was upstairs in a terraced house somewhere, looking out of the window and my husband was sat in the next-door neighbour's front garden.

A couple got out of a car and started to go door to door.  They were clearly selling something and I shouted to my husband to hide!  But then I noticed they were selling all sorts of brushes so I said to stop them, as we needed brushes.  I started to run downstairs but I was topless (told you I was obsessed!) so I had to hold my boobs as I ran.

I discovered the sales people plus half the street in 'my' dining room and they all started to ask me to value the brushes!  

I picked up one....it was like a cross between a nailbrush, a scrubbing brush and a charm bracelet!

It was the size of a pocket calculator, it had long, fine, soft bristles and on the reverse, each tuft of bristles had attached to it a silver lucky charm!  They looked really expensive, proper silver charms and I thought it was worth £23 so said as much only to have all the neighbours dive in to buy them before me.

I picked two up quickly, hid one underneath each boob and ran off down the road being chased with people with brushes!!

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