I was attending a weight watchers meeting and noticed that the person doing the weighing was Bill Oddie. I was slightly surprised at this but not enough to ask anyone why he was there.
When it was my turn to be weighed, the carpet started to bubble and wherever he put the scales there was a lump under it so it wouldn't sit flat. He told me to get on anyway so I did and according to the scales I had lost 11 stone in a week.
He accepted this and wrote it down on my book without comment, but I objected saying that if he just looked at me he could see that I wasn't 11 stone lighter and it was clearly the bumpy carpet distorting the reading.
He wouldn't accept it and insisted I had lost 11 stone in a week. When I tried to argue, he held his hand up in front of my face and started whistling so he didn't hear me. I gave up and walked out.
The dream then became one where I was observing things going on without being directly involved.
Hugh Grant was leaving his flat but the door had been broken and it wouldn't lock properly. He would fiddle with it and slam it shut, give it a gentle push and it appeared to be locked, but a harder push and it burst open.
He was clearly needing to get somewhere and was running late but was worried about leaving the flat too. In the end he slammed it and ran off hoping for the best.
It was obvious that it was a little while later, when I observed him arriving in a posh office building in London. I then became aware that I was Denise Welch watching from a walkway on the next floor up.
In the dream I felt really sorry for Hugh Grant and wanted to help so (still as Denise Welch), I headed off to his flat to fix his door. I had no clothes on (oh for goodness sake... I am even naked when I am someone else!) and only had a blanket to wrap around myself.
I was suddenly at the flat, in fact I was inside it and I found a full pint of beer sitting on the side. I picked it up to sniff it when someone shouted at me not to touch it as it was evidence. I looked up to see Columbo in the kitchen snooping about.
He asked me why there was a full pint left and what could possibly have made anyone leave a full pint just sitting there. I shrugged and he said he thought it might have poison in it.
I shrugged again and he made some notes in a small notebook.
There was a knock at the door and a man (unknown) walked in with a load of electric fans saying that this would help with the door problem. I remember having a warm feeling at how nice it was that people all wanted to help. I remembered the broken door and pulled a large cheese grater from inside the blanket that was still wrapped around me.
I used this to sand the door down, then whipped out a keyring with lots of cutlery attached to it. I somehow used this most expertly and the door was not only fixed but had changed colour from a pinky lilac to deep blue and was now a lot shinier and smarter.
I went in and ran around to chase out anyone that was left inside, before locking the door and sweeping off. I felt the blanket trailing behind me and felt that it somehow looked good! This along with the satisfaction of fixing the door made me in a very good mood.
I think this is reflective of last night's genuine good mood :-D x
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