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Sunday 3 July 2011

Opera, chaos and a very crappy birthday to me...

I was at an outdoor fashion show but the clothes were all very beautiful ornate 18th century style.  Each new model walked up steps and into the main arena to the accompaniment of opera. 

A woman who I sensed was 'somebody' was the star guest and a very annoying, drippy sycophantic man was overly keen to get her opinion each time. Not on the clothes, but on the music. 

She seemed decidedly uninterested in the whole thing and was looking very fed up and irritated.  Each time he asked, she repeated that opera wasn't her thing through gritted teeth. 

The man bustled off somewhere and I walked over to speak to her. I commented on how annoying he was and she agreed wholeheartedly. She told me she had agreed to this but wasn't enjoying it at all. I asked her if operetta was any easier than opera and she frowned and shrugged. 

Before I could attempt to explain, the next music was three little maids from the Mikado.  I told her that I'd been in it at school (I was) and that I'd played the part of Peep Bo (I didn't).

I never got to find out her opinion however as suddenly I was in the front garden of an elevated council house in Pine Avenue in Worcester (number 5). 

It was total chaos. Myself my parents and my husband were all trying to get organised for something at the same time but there was no communication, so I'd bring something out into the garden, only for someone else to take it in the house again. 

I was aware that I was being picked up by a minibus any moment and  I was also aware it was my birthday. 

I was trying to get ready, get packed to go away and tidy up all at the same time but so was everyone else. I was nowhere near ready, I'd lost my make up, everything was in the wrong bag and we were  all bumping in to each other. 

It was the most total disorganised,chaotic scene imaginable and then the minibus came but I wasn't ready and I missed it.

My mother and husband wished me happy birthday but my Dad said he wasn't my Dad and refused to. 

I decided to wrap myself in a hose pipe and sit in the shed to sulk, but it was full of jars. I opened one and found a sticky dead daddy long legs. I screamed and tried to drop it but it stuck to me. 

I eventually managed to fling it off and as it hit the wall it turned into a spider and ran off.  I decided not to open any more jars, but I noticed an old phone charger and decided to charge myself (!?)

I plugged it into my arm and sat back and relaxed, but several hours later didn't feel any different. I followed the wire from my arm to make sure the power source was turned on, only to find that I was the power source, so I was charging myself making the whole thing pointless :-/

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