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Thursday 9 June 2011

Zap...

I was at some sort of appraisal which for some reason was taking place in a hospital waiting room.  The appraisal was being conducted by my boss plus another woman. 

As part of the appraisal I had to stand up and do an Anthea Redfern style twirl. I held out my skirt to make my outfit look more balanced. 

They both remarked on how it was a nice change to see me in a skirt which I thought was odd as I never wore trousers to work.  They said it hid the shape of my legs more. 

As I stood there however the skirt stuck to my legs more and more with static electricity. I explained I was a very staticky person and demonstrated by touching a metal bar and creating an electric shock. 

I then held my palms so that they were a few inches apart facing each other and visible electricity was flowing between my hands like mini forked lightning. 

I remember thinking that I could sell it to Doctor Who as a special effect. 

It then occurred to me that I could use it on someone else and sure enough it transpired that I could shoot electricity out of my hands!

I went to stand at the entrance of the hospital and amused myself by zapping random people. I then discovered that if I maintained the flow of electricity beyond a second or two, it had great force and by zapping the floor continuously it had enough force to lift me off the ground

In this way I discovered I could move around like a human hovercraft and proceeded to cause chaos zapping myself at great speed around the corridors of the hospital; knocking people over and creating mayhem. 

There was an announcement on the tannoy saying there was a reward for anyone that could stop me, so people started chasing me and trying to grab my legs but I just zapped them. 

I realised that I didn't feel guilty or worried about what I was doing and I felt invigorated and liberated. 

I ended up in the ladies loos and I was locked in so I stopped zapping.  A White duck was using its beak to shave a woman's legs and while I was distracted by this I was attacked with shaving foam and arrested. 

PS I have to confess I enjoyed this one.

ZAP!

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