X rated but toned down...

I was working overnight in a sub-post office for Joanna Lumley and a man bought my sexual services with a custard slice.  I won't go into too much detail or it will be too X rated. 

I had to do the 'mirror image sex dance' down some stairs with a woman everyone thought had been on TV but turned out to work for the council

Then I had to do something with an American teenager with sausage breath and an annoying attitude. 

Then the man returned, proving he'd actually given me two custard slices, so he tied my fingers and toes to some ornaments using string and took me off to watch some extreme skateboarding done to the soundtrack of musicals. 

Then the man had me do some very rude things that I'd best not detail, but it involved a flyover and some graffiti.