It's odd, but more often than not when I first wake up, I can't remember my dreams at all. Then, within the next few minutes it usually all comes flooding back. This morning, even by my standards, I was quite taken aback by the sheer amount of 'stuff' that came flooding back to me all at once....storming uninvited into my poor, hungover, Sunday morning head :-/
It is going to take ages to type it up (especially as I'm using my phone) and I was thinking, wouldn't it be good if someone could come up with a piece of software that would read your mind and type it out for you!? ;-). Mind you....could be dangerous ;-D
Aaaaaanyway...the point is, it's a long one, so consider yourself warned...
I was in a huge farmhouse kitchen with my parents. I'd just got up and was running late. I had on some sort of purple night shirt and my mother was making me porridge.
I wandered out into the garden. It was a very large garden and looked like it had once been tidy and organised but had gone to pot. I noticed my husband trying to reason with a petulant goat but he was clearly getting nowhere. The goat kept running off and digging up huge chunks of garden with an oversized hoof! As I watched, it dug up a large tree (complete with roots), with impossible ease and my poor husband was trying to put it back.
My Dad then appeared advising me on planting parsley and I asked it was goat proof. 'Only if you plant it in containers on the shed roof' was the very serious reply I got.
I suddenly remembered how late I was, so dashed off to work without getting ready. Once there.....I felt exhausted so sat on a soft bench seat in a reception area and just flopped over in a rather overly dramatic display of not feeling that great ;-)
My friend Lauren had spotted me and was worried so she walked down some stairs to check on me. I said I was just tired and she said to delay starting work I could help her do some scanning.
My boss appeared with a small child. She was teaching the child how to guess people's ages and told the child I was 41 (I'm not).
There was a queue for the scanner. One woman in the queue dropped her stuff and I noticed that she had very ornate, decorative office equipment. She had treasury tags that had pretty enamel flowers or butterflies each end, attached with a silver chain; she also had staples made of jewels and all sorts of other items like this.
I offered to help pick it all up, fascinated by it all. As soon as we were picking it up, more was on the floor and now there were other items too and we were both putting it all into a cupboard with 'Barnardos' written on it.
My boss appeared. She was cross with me initially for not starting work yet, but realised I was doing something for charity and softened.
She started to look at the items and the woman started giving her the real hard sell on a sack of blue spiky balls. My boss got cross and said she wasn't going to buy anything now and stomped off.
Somehow, the contents of my bag were on the floor and the woman was most concerned that if I didn't pick the coins up, someone else would and then I'd no longer have an even amount. She was very stressed about this but I said I'd do it later.
Just then however, a bloke appeared eyeing up the coins so I grabbed them all and quickly got them back in my bag.
The bloke had a white sheet of paper with a long maths problem written on it in a plastic bag. He was trying to work out the answer and kept repeating the number 41 over and over.
I asked him if he'd like me to use a calculator to help him and he eagerly accepted. I got my phone out of my bra but Lauren had reappeared and had an ordinary calculator so I let her do it.
I noticed that my phone was completely covered in Vaseline so wandered off through some double doors to find a way to clean it. I found a windowsill on a mini stairway with many odd items on it. I managed to clean my phone, but was aware I'd used something I shouldn't have.
Just then, my friend Trish appeared and I felt guilty so apologised and headed back.
At last Lauren was ready to use the scanner but couldn't make it work. A girl from work (Ellen) was there and got it working. We both thanked her but she said she knew what we really thought of her. I was puzzled and asked her what she meant. She leaned towards me looked at me meaningfully and just said 'rents'. Then she ran away.
My boss appeared again. Now seriously pissed off I wasn't working. She was ranting about some conference I was meant to be going to in London that needed organising.
I left the building and was driving along a country road. I noticed traffic grinding to a halt up ahead. As I entered a hair pin bend I was in a car but as I came round the corner I was on a pedal bike and was almost hit by a double decker bus reversing into me.
It stopped just in time and drove off down a bus lane, avoiding the hold ups the other drivers faced. There had clearly been an accident.
An angry man was waving a shovel about. He said two people including a psychiatrist, had been killed but he didn't care because the bastard had reversed into his van.
He started smashing things up with his shovel. He went over to a house which already had a hole in the window. He put the shovel through the hole and started smashing the rest of the window from the inside.
The resident of the house appeared in the room and started shouting about criminal damage. The shovel wielding man ran towards me and I thought I was going to have my head caved in. I closed my eyes and put my hands on my head but nothing happened.
I opened my eyes to see that the traffic had started moving.
I suddenly realised that I had no idea where I was, why I was there or where I was meant to be going so I thought I'd better follow everyone else but they went too fast and I got left behind cycling along in nothing but a round edged purple cardigan, trying to avoid all the broken glass.
I eventually got to some sort of town centre. There were road signs but they were a bit odd. I remember one saying 'No DSS. / DWP street 101-41' followed by an arrow. This made no sense so I headed for the shops.
It was very warm and sunny and I had a white umbrella up. I was just contemplating going inside one of the shops when many people I knew appeared and started telling me it wasn't that warm at all and why did I think it was? I said it was the warmest day I had experienced in a year and was 15 degrees hotter than home.
No one believed me and they all started shouting at me with great anger so I ran away but had bare feet. I remember the Tarmac was rough and hot on my feet and I didn't understand why no one else thought it was hot.
I felt a bit hard done by. Then a huge magpie swooped down and stole my umbrella.
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