Another Trio....

Dream one - a wedding of sorts?

I was getting married again, but as I was already married, it was more of ceremony just to confirm we still wanted to be married?  Sort of like a blessing I suppose but without any religious aspect.

I was in this house which was both in Liverpool and Talywain at the same time.   I was meant to be getting ready with a wedding dress etc, but I was faffing about and on the whole didn’t seem that keen on all the fuss.  

My mother was there and was incredibly stressed, shouting at me to hurry up and get ready as we were late.  In the end I just left the house as I was, without getting ready.  I had nothing with me (not even my phone - shock horror!) except a Yale key with a green plastic keyring.

My mother was pulling at me to walk faster and we got in a car that was parked in a lane at the back of the house.  She got in to drive (she can’t drive in really life) and tried to start the car with the Yale key.

The car did start, but it didn’t make the right noise.  It was a lighter, higher pitched version of an engine noise and when she tried to drive it, you could tell there was barely any power and we weren’t really going anywhere fast.

I went back to the house but as I walked back I was bombarded with snowballs.  I somehow knew that the people throwing them were friendly.

When I got back to the house it was a shop (like the sort you get in service stations).  There were gangs of young men plotting to steal children’s toys.

That dream ended right there. :-/

Dream two - Tribunal

Now this dream differs from any I think I have had (that I can remember) in that it is just a straightforward little story without anything too strange or surreal in it.  I can also remember it especially vividly - like a real memory rather than a dream.

Myself and my parents were sat at a tribunal.  I had a file with me.  I was aware that I was representing a disabled child whose benefits had been stopped.  The child wasn’t present.

A woman from the DWP arrived and sat beside me.  She also had a file.  The seat where the judge should sit was empty and we all sat and waited a while.  The woman to my left then announced that as both she and the judge were civil servants, in the judge’s absence, she would be making the decision.

Naturally I objected to this on the grounds that she represented the original decision maker, but she said it was tough and that she was entitled to do it.  

I said OK then what is your decision and she said that she was rejecting the appeal.  I said that she hadn’t even considered any of the facts or heard what I had to say so she asked me to put forward my case.

This is the weird bit because it is SO vivid and clear in my memory.  I opened the file and saw a photo of a severely disabled red haired girl in a wheelchair.  There were lots of notes and I was aware that I didn’t know what they said as I hadn’t read the file.

I explained that the benefits in question were outside my area of expertise, but that, had the judge been there, the judge would have applied his or her knowledge of the law to make sure the decision was fair.  I went on to say that in law, one word can make all the difference, like a ‘may’ rather than a ‘must’.

I said that the woman was not trained or an expert in law so I would not accept her as a substitute for the judge.

We then went on to talk about the little girl.  I showed her the photo.  It was just really obvious that she was very disabled and clearly needed the benefits.  I remember saying ‘OK...I’m no doctor, but then you’re no judge’.

Despite this the woman said she had made her decision and stamped a page in her file.

I said....fine - in that case I will appeal to the Upper Tribunal on a point of law, on the basis that you have no jurisdiction to make this decision.

Suddenly the woman’s demeanor changed and she backed down a bit and tried to persuade me not to appeal.  I said absolutely no chance - this is outrageously unfair - what about the right to a fair trial....the woman sank down in her chair sulking and bright red in the face and we all just sat there quietly waiting for the judge after all.

And that’s it - goodness knows what that was all about!?

Dream three - give this one your own title...

So... somehow I was creeping about in the house of commons at night and I looked through an open door to see David Cameron talking to someone else.  As I listened to the conversation it became clear that David Cameron was actually Osama Bin Laden in disguise.

I panicked and realised that I had to act fast....so I shot him!

An apology...

I would just like to apologise for the amount of nudity in my dreams.  Those who know me in real life particularly, may find this rather disturbing, but if you choose to read the nonsense that goes on in my head...you do so at your own risk!  ;-P

Queen Granny and the tampon kicking method of dealing with bullies....

Paul and I were living in a slightly squalid bedsit. We hadn't long moved in  and there were takeaway boxes, drugs paraphernalia and copies of the financial times everywhere. 

There was a lot of noise outside as four young lads were chatting with the car doors open and had pounding music on very loud.  

I offered them a dozen eggs and a jam tart each and they drove off in a flashy white car. 

We started to tidy up because family members who were both there and not there at the same time, were telling us that my great granny and her male companion were coming. It was as though she was royalty. 

We had to iron the newspaper and get it just so. We also had to remove any pages that we thought might upset her so we hid page three in the airing cupboard. 

We checked supplies and noticed there wasn't much tea and coffee. The tea bags however were huge; as big as a dinner plate...so we shared a bag between us. 

Great granny arrived and all the family were definitely there then. Everyone else got a seat but I was told I'd have to perch on a storage heater. 

We all ended up talking about my dreams which were all in a box in the middle of the room. Each one was looked at and discussed in turn and I noticed that most of them were transparent. 

Then the room changed and turned into a bedroom that was in an office block in Cardiff (Paul's old office from the early 90s).

There were a few of us in there. All girls. We all seemed to be getting ready and chatting and getting on really well. It was nice. But then a girl I used to be friends with (Sue) arrived. 

She walked in and everyone else seemed scared of her. I noticed for the first time that everyone was naked and there were multicoloured tampons all over the floor. 

She spoke in a sneering bullying tone and everyone else looked subdued and nervous. They all looked at me and I could tell that they thought I was scared too, as I was quiet. 

I looked out of the window and realised she was speaking to me and getting cross because I was ignoring her.  Everyone in the room looked really tense. 

I just tutted, kicked a blue tampon at her and told her to shut up. Everyone gasped and she ran off crying. I felt quite bewildered by this but then realised we were all now ready to go out so I picked up my bag and we all left despite the fact no one actually had any clothes on.  

Not this time...

Last night's dream for once, was short and simple, but I have chosen not to record it. Not for the usual reasons either. There are just some things I want to keep to myself.

A tale of two dreams...

Definitely two distinct dreams last night.  

Dream One - A bloody end in Paris

The first one was quite short but rather violent and bloody.  Leslie Grantham was climbing on a very odd piece of machinery in the centre of Paris which is very hard to describe....

It was completely made of metal.  It was oval in shape and the oval sat on two metal tripods, each of which were 100 foot tall.  The oval itself had lots of sharp spikes on it - blades really and an inner metal oval that went round and round within the other slightly larger oval.  

Leslie Grantham was stood on the lower oval trying to keep his balance and not fall off or injure himself on the blades.  He kept falling over and I had a sense of tension and fear as the person observing / dreaming.  

I somehow knew that he wanted to stay alive long enough to see his daughter.  He fell over and his fingers got into the wrong place and were cut off.  He screamed and I could see his fingers left behind and his fingerless hand spewing blood everywhere.  He was clearly shocked and fell again - this time his elbow was sliced off and he finally lost his balance and fell hurtling towards the ground.

I became aware of his daughter and her friend who had just left a cafe and had arrived just in time to see.  He saw her and I was somehow aware that he was saying sorry to her. He then splatted on the ground and there was blood and organs and pieces of bone everywhere.  I am sure it was much more messy than it would have been in real life.

Then I woke up in the early hours of the morning.  Now I haven’t heard about or thought of Leslie Grantham for years so I have no idea where all this came from.  Anyway - back to bed and back to sleep and this time a much nicer.....and longer dream.  If you are reading this Gwyn, don’t go yet as you are in the next bit (although so is someone you don’t like very much)!

Dream Two - Time Travelling, teeth and bees 

This dream started out in a cafeteria.  I had a prawn and avocado baguette which I didn’t like (nor do I in real life).  I kept looking at it not sure on what to do as I didn’t know whose fault it was that I had it in the first place.

The two people the other side of a little bar type thing also evidently had baguettes they didn’t like and decided to burst into a musical style song and dance about it.  They were dancing around the tables poking people with their baguettes and singing some irritating musical style song.  When they came to me I thought the best thing to do was to give them my baguette too so they could deal with it.  So I did.

I then followed them up to the preparation area where it turned out that Rob Brydon was the very cheery chef.  The two dancing idiots disappeared at this point and Chef Rob was talking to me.  He said he had all sorts of lovely things in his kitchen and what could he get for me.  I was just choosing from a wonderful array of breads and cakes, when he suddenly realised I was his son’s girlfriend and took me by the arm to take me ‘home’.

I have no idea how, but I was aware that we were traveling through time and had ended up back in the 1980s.  He took me in to a typical valleys terraced house.  As we went in he pointed out the higgledy piggledy rows of terraced houses on the mountain opposite and told me that it was only in Wales that I would see houses like that.

I remember thinking that I felt annoyed that he was pointing this out to me as I was from a valleys town myself and knew things like that.

We went in and he took me to his son’s bedroom so I could wait for him.  I threw myself onto the unmade bed and decided to have a squirm (you know when you wriggle and writhe around on a comfy bed?......No?.....maybe that’s just me then)! ;-)

I realised I needed to get ready - have a shower, clean my teeth, put on make up and do my hair etc.  I went to the bathroom next-door and as I walked between the two rooms, Gwyn appeared with huge headphones on and grinned at me.  I remember thinking - ‘oh so Rob Brydon is Gwyn’s Dad’!  And suddenly lots of things made sense (?!)

The bathroom was avacado green and a bit scruffy and dirty looking and it was clear that many people lived in the house and used it.

I was in the bathroom and started to clean my teeth but I picked up the wrong toothbrush and it exploded, shooting the bristles out into my gums like arrows.  It also seemed to squirt blue ink, staining my teeth.  I picked up the right toothbrush and started to rectify things but I was too vicious with it and I loosened one of my teeth at the front.

I was just about to jump in the shower when someone knocked on the door and said that their daughter needed to use the potty, so could I come out for a while.   I came out stark naked (here we go again).  I didn’t seem bothered by this but was very concerned about my tooth.  I wiggled it as I walked downstairs and just as I was announcing to the numerous people sat in the living room that it was loose, it snapped in half and then a few seconds later fell out completely.

I looked in a mirror and was dismayed to see that my teeth were now even worse than they were before with a gap there.  I sighed.

At this point Rob Brydon said that Gwyn had stolen his mini and he was not at all happy about it so he thought it best that I leave the house.  He wouldn’t allow me time to go and get dressed so I ran away and tried to hide in the porch, but I was too fat and he could still see me so I ran outside.

Gwyn was driving the mini and he had a few of his mates in there too - they were all (somehow) lying down on top of one another.  I could see that the windscreen had gone and he drove at me at great speed telling me that I had to jump in horizontally through the windscreen while they were driving at me and we could all escape through time.

I jumped and landed perfectly and we drove off through time all singing very loud songs and getting drunk.

I woke up (in the dream) lying on a trestle table in the middle of a church hall alone, covered only with a dark red curtain.  I was still naked.  I suddenly realised that the church hall was full of thousands of bees all swarming around me and landing on me so I put the curtain over my head, wrapped it to cover as much of my body as I could and made a run for it. I remember bees landing on some very intimate places which believe me is not nice!

I ended up in a kitchen somewhere full of women in the WI.  They sealed off their doors and windows as best they could but the odd bee was still getting in and one woman gave out kitchen implements for us to beat them off.  I had a potato masher.

I swiped at the bess and kept hitting the same one but it just got angrier and also seemed to get bigger and develop a threatening look on its face so I got scared and tried to apologise to it for hitting it with a potato masher but it just kept coming after me.  I then saw that some of the bees had turned into Daddy Long Legs (far more terrifying to me) so I really panicked and screamed (and then I woke up)!

This one comes with a warning...

It's odd, but more often than not when I first wake up, I can't remember my dreams at all. Then, within the next few minutes it usually all comes flooding back. This morning, even by my standards, I was quite taken aback by the sheer amount of 'stuff' that came flooding back to me all at once....storming uninvited into my poor, hungover, Sunday morning head :-/

It is going to take ages to type it up (especially as I'm using my phone) and I was thinking, wouldn't it be good if someone could come up with a piece of software that would read your mind and type it out for you!? ;-). Mind you....could be dangerous ;-D

Aaaaaanyway...the point is, it's a long one, so consider yourself warned...

I was in a huge farmhouse kitchen with my parents. I'd just got up and was running late. I had on some sort of purple night shirt and my mother was making me porridge. 

I wandered out into the garden. It was a very large garden and looked like it had once been tidy and organised but had gone to pot. I noticed my husband trying to reason with a petulant goat but he was clearly getting nowhere. The goat kept running off and digging up huge chunks of garden with an oversized hoof! As I watched, it dug up a large tree (complete with roots), with impossible ease and my poor husband was trying to put it back. 

My Dad then appeared advising me on planting parsley and I asked it was goat proof. 'Only if you plant it in containers on the shed roof' was the very serious reply I got. 

I suddenly remembered how late I was, so dashed off to work without getting ready. Once there.....I felt exhausted so sat on a soft bench seat in a reception area and just flopped over in a rather overly dramatic display of not feeling that great ;-)

My friend Lauren had spotted me and was worried so she walked down some stairs to check on me. I said I was just tired and she said to delay starting work I could help her do some scanning. 

My boss appeared with a small child. She was teaching the child how to guess people's ages and told the child I was 41 (I'm not). 

There was a queue for the scanner. One woman in the queue dropped her stuff and I noticed that she had very ornate, decorative office equipment. She had treasury tags that had pretty enamel flowers or butterflies each end, attached with a silver chain; she also had staples made of jewels and all sorts of other items like this. 

I offered to help pick it all up, fascinated by it all. As soon as we were picking it up, more was on the floor and now there were other items too and we were both putting it all into a cupboard with 'Barnardos' written on it. 

My boss appeared. She was cross with me initially for not starting work yet, but realised I was doing something for charity and softened. 

She started to look at the items and the woman started giving her the real hard sell on a sack of blue spiky balls. My boss got cross and said she wasn't going to buy anything now and stomped off. 

Somehow, the contents of my bag were on the floor and the woman was most concerned that if I didn't pick the coins up, someone else would and then I'd no longer have an even amount. She was very stressed about this but I said I'd do it later. 

Just then however, a bloke appeared eyeing up the coins so I grabbed them all and quickly got them back in my bag. 

The bloke had a white sheet of paper with a long maths problem written on it in a plastic bag. He was trying to work out the answer and kept repeating the number 41 over and over. 

I asked him if he'd like me to use a calculator to help him and he eagerly accepted. I got my phone out of my bra but Lauren had reappeared and had an ordinary calculator so I let her do it. 

I noticed that my phone was completely covered in Vaseline so wandered off through some double doors to find a way to clean it. I found a windowsill on a mini stairway with many odd items on it. I managed to clean my phone, but was aware I'd used something I shouldn't have. 

Just then, my friend Trish appeared and I felt guilty so apologised and headed back. 

At last Lauren was ready to use the scanner but couldn't make it work. A girl from work (Ellen) was there and got it working. We both thanked her but she said she knew what we really thought of her. I was puzzled and asked her what she meant. She leaned towards me looked at me meaningfully and just said 'rents'. Then she ran away. 

My boss appeared again. Now seriously pissed off I wasn't working. She was ranting about some conference I was meant to be going to in London that needed organising. 

I left the building and was driving along a country road. I noticed traffic grinding to a halt up ahead. As I entered a hair pin bend I was in a car but as I came round the corner I was on a pedal bike and was almost hit by a double decker bus reversing into me. 

It stopped just in time and drove off down a bus lane, avoiding the hold ups the other drivers faced. There had clearly been an accident. 

An angry man was waving a shovel about. He said two people including a psychiatrist, had been killed but he didn't care because the bastard had reversed into his van. 

He started smashing things up with his shovel. He went over to a house which already had a hole in the window. He put the shovel through the hole and started smashing the rest of the window from the inside. 

The resident of the house appeared in the room and started shouting about criminal damage. The shovel wielding man ran towards me and I thought I was going to have my head caved in. I closed my eyes and put my hands on my head but nothing happened. 

I opened my eyes to see that the traffic had started moving. 

I suddenly realised that I had no idea where I was, why I was there or where I was meant to be going so I thought I'd better follow everyone else but they went too fast and I got left behind cycling along in nothing but a round edged purple cardigan, trying to avoid all the broken glass. 

I eventually got to some sort of town centre. There were road signs but they were a bit odd. I remember one saying 'No DSS. / DWP street 101-41' followed by an arrow. This made no sense so I headed for the shops.  

It was very warm and sunny and I had a white umbrella up. I was just contemplating going inside one of the shops when many people I knew appeared and started telling me it wasn't that warm at all and why did I think it was?   I said it was the warmest day I had experienced in a year and was 15 degrees hotter than home. 

No one believed me and they all started shouting at me with great anger so I ran away but had bare feet. I remember the Tarmac was rough and hot on my feet and I didn't understand why no one else thought it was hot. 

I felt a bit hard done by. Then a huge magpie swooped down and stole my umbrella. 

Also...

I should add that I also had another dream last night which I remembered early this afternoon.  It is one of those unbloggable ones though - not REALLY bad but definitely best kept to myself ;-)

Cottage cheese, jiggly breast and Doctor Who all in one dream....:-/

I was in a house....I think it was our old council house in Pontypool. I crossed the road and met a blonde middle aged woman who started walking with me. She said she was taking me to weightwatchers. 

I noticed that I was eating a glass bowl full of jelly with cottage cheese in it. The cottage cheese had settled at the bottom and it was disgusting. 

I was speaking on the phone to a friend but turned the phone off and put it in my bra as the woman was speaking to me. 

We chatted as we walked. The weather was warm with a gentle breeze. It was very pleasant and as we walked I could see we were getting closer to the sea which looked a beautiful deep blue. 

I could hear it and it felt relaxing. 

I then realised there was shouting coming from my bra. I got my phone out and not only had I not ended the phone call with my friend but I'd somehow fumbled with it and also phoned my husband so I now had two live phone calls. 

They had both been shouting at me to answer or turn my phone off and it turns out they'd also had a nice chat with each other about how jiggly my breast was to sit on.

I cut them both off and realised I was lost. I was on the outskirts of a town which I feel was Wolverhampton and I was trying to find a shortcut which I remembered someone mentioning. 

I asked a policeman but he acted like he couldn't see or hear me and just looked right through me. 

I sighed and noticed I was now in a field with a small group of people. 

We were watching an episode of Doctor Who which was happening live in front of us but was also being shown a little way off to the left on a big screen. The action on the screen had a few seconds delay. 

The story was that three explorers had come through the crack in time/between universes for a holiday and had been followed by some evil blokes with a secret army. 

One of the adventurers was in Cardiff and had been arrested but he showed a letter to say he had to appear in court elsewhere at 9.30 the next day, so was let off with a $64 fine. 

The other two were happily rambling through countryside and some girl was trying to warn them.  Just as the girl caught up and started to explain, three men appeared through an invisible door and announced they were going to kill them. 

As viewers, we could see a huge army still hidden behind the door but the three in the programme couldn't.  One of the girls was feisty and argued with them. 

The army then appeared and there was a chase. As viewers we felt it was getting a bit dodgy so we ran away too. 

I needed the loo so went into a portakabin type building and was sat on the loo when I realised I was doctor who's assistant. 

The Doctor (David Tennant) was in the room and using his sonic screwdriver he  made himself go into a small moving porcelain model of himself which was inside a glass case mounted on the wall. 

He looked around then started to climb upwards, disappearing somehow into the top of the case. I was somehow aware he was going through the crack in time. 

I shouted that it was weakened and unstable due to all the others that had come through and he hesitated as if he hadn't thought of that but then carried on anyway. 

I got annoyed and poked my tongue out. A distant voice shouted 'I saw that'. I frowned and poked my tongue out twice. I heard an even more distant voice shout 'and both those'. I could hear he was now very far away. 

I folded my arms, frowned and let out a huge sigh. I remember thinking that I was fed up of no one ever doing what I wanted them to. 

Double!!

Welcome to my second subscriber!! I did dream about you briefly....you are AMT. In 'think before you buy'! ;-).

Definitely not sweet dreams...

I was having a day out in Swansea with my friend Shan, who, in the dream, lived there. 

The city was nothing but criss crossing escalators and all we seemed to do was travel up one then down another. Over and over. 

Despite never going into any shops, we seemed to be acquiring bags. I also had sore feet and purple teeth which I was constantly trying to cover and hide. 

I had an overwhelming feeling that I was being taken in a direction I didn't want to go and the the escalators didn't like me because I used to live in Cardiff. 

Suddenly we were sat in a room that was a cross between a taxi office and a launderette. I sat on a bench seat and took my shoes off. Shan stood. There was an orange comfy seat but she insisted she'd rather stand. 

Then my Nextdoor neighbours turned up and took Shan for a tour of farm outbuildings. When she came back she was freezing but still wouldn't sit down even though the chair was now next to a log fire. 

She told me that she no longer had time to do everything as the bus was so late and that she would cook me tea if I went to the video shop for her. 

I agreed, despite not knowing where it was and decided I was old enough to find my way around London (not sure where London came into it)!

I then remembered I'd parked my car somewhere but couldn't remember where and all I could think to do was to keep shaking my phone hoping it would tell me where it was. 

It didn't work then I noticed the bus had gone and the building had closed and I was there alone in the darkness with no shoes which I was aware had been stolen. 

I went to get my phone out of my bra but it had turned into a letter saying that no one wanted to come out on a rainy night to get me. It had loads of signatures on it and at first they were all meaningless squiggles but as I stared, they turned into images of friends and people I knew. 

I had a really horrible feeling that I'd been tricked and that everyone I knew had plotted together to lock me away. I panicked and ran through the building which had become enormous but could find no way out. 

I woke up in a cold sweat with a racing heart and feeling a bit sick!  Nearest thing to a nightmare in ages :-(

Weddings, weirdness and wisdom...

This time it's Richard that is the star of my dream.....sorry Rich!

So in the dream, Richard had agreed to come and stay and I was clearly taking him in the car. 

Then we were in a hotel room which was very basic. I didn't want to unpack because the room bored me and upon hearing a commotion we went to the room opposite where a collection of unusual people were staying. 

Their room was much bigger and nicer and it turned out they were being kicked out so we could have their room. 

We went to get our luggage while I explained to Richard why it was so much better (it looked exactly the same). 

While we were moving luggage however, I remembered I had a flat so we went back to the car. 

As I was driving I was telling Richard about my wedding. About all the traditional things we hadn't done and why. Richard asked why we hadn't had the usual evening disco/buffet and I was explaining this as we got out of the car and walked into a building where someone's evening disco/buffet was taking place on their wedding day. 

I turned to Richard and just looked at him. He looked around slowly then looked at me and just said 'I see'. I nodded, happy that he understood. 

As we walked across the large room someone from work (PD) tapped me on the shoulder. He said that he and his husband had been enjoying themselves but I'd stopped them from doing a special dance. He was very upset with me. 

I said I had no recollection and no idea what he was talking about but that I was sorry. He was especially upset because he'd painted himself brown for it. His husband came over and thanked me. He said that in fact, they'd been making fools of themselves so he was grateful I'd stopped it. 

This sparked an argument between them so I left them to it. 

Richard and I got to the door to my flat. Behind it was another door which was clearly a public toilet cubicle and was engaged. 

We had to wait for the person to come out before we could walk through the cubicle and into my flat. 

The flat was small, white, bright and fairly empty. It was also very cold. It was obvious there was very strong air conditioning on. Two people appeared in the flat so I asked them to turn it down a bit. 

They scuttled off and I apologised to Richard for the temperature. The aircon (which was like a strong wind) started to ease and the music outside slowed down at the same time. I apologised to Richard again saying how crap it was all turning out. 

As the music got back to normal speed the strong wind returned but this time it blasted us with heat. 

I shouted about it being one extreme or the other. I was getting very annoyed and asked Richard to come into the kitchen as it might be better there and there would be tea. (PM T Mr H?)

As we finally drank tea and everything seemed better, Richard told me that he wasn't staying and never could. He had only come to make sure I'd learnt a valuable life lesson. 

I asked what it was but he just stared at me and wouldn't speak. Once he finished his tea he waved his hands around in a meaningful but puzzling way and promptly disappeared. 

I noticed that the kitchen was no longer attached to the flat but was a shed at the bottom of a beautiful sunny garden. I went out into the garden. It looked, smelt and felt wonderful. I turned around to lock the front door then as I turned back my smile collapsed. 

The garden was now dark, rainy, muddy, uneven with building materials and rubbish and filled with nettles and brambles. The shed had gone and I was stuck there. I also noticed I only had a short night shirt on and bare feet.  

I realised that I had ignored the life lesson and now I was stuck with the consequences. It seemed impossible to get out but I suddenly realised I was in bed and that there was a dead mouse on the carpet at the foot of the bed. 

Somehow this made everything ok and I sat sipping tea waiting for someone to come. :-/

Holiday programme....

In last night's dream, we were watching a Tv programme that had a holiday built in. 

I'm not sure who 'we' refers to as most people I know seemed to be involved. 

It started with myself and my parents walking somewhere. Some people from work were there and so was my husband. 

I had a text but the phone I had wasn't my usual phone. It was odd and had a tiny keyboard. It also had an unnecessarily ornate display which just made it hard to read. 

The text was off simon from work. I told everyone I had a text off simon as this in itself was a rare event. I tried to read the text but it was like reading a rolled up scroll on a tiny screen that wouldn't stay unrolled and it kept jumping back to the beginning and there were too many gaps between words.  

When I eventually got to read it all the way through I noticed everyone had wandered off and stopped listening anyway. 

I looked back at my phone and it started to mark out the route that simon had travelled to go on holiday. He'd gone to the 'other cornwall' which was in France. 

Suddenly we were all watching tv again in a small square room. I realised that I was taking off more clothes than I could possibly have had on in the first place and folding them up before passing to my mother. 

My dad asked me sarcastically why I was folding them if they were for the wash. I shrugged thinking 'so what' but everyone else found it hysterical and were laughing at me for ages. 

I became aware that although the holiday came free with the tv programme, it wasn't in the right order. The handing over of dirty clothes was the end of the holiday but the middle and beginning hadn't happened yet. 

Suddenly I was in a pre restaurant. I was put in a seat like a see saw to balance out a man and his mother. 

A woman came to interview me about what foods I was missing from home. I said ice cream, but she crossed out what I'd said. She said sorry.....Although I could see lots of ice cream I couldn't have it. 

I also became aware that every flavour had half chocolate in it. 

We knew it was almost time to be taken through to eat, but I realised I had given all my clothes to be washed and had nothing to wear. 

At that moment we had to enter a competition to guess the monkey. We all guessed randomly. I guessed 'stripy top' hoping that if I was right, I'd win one to wear. 

We all suddenly realised that everyone else had chosen chocolate orange and had won. My mother could see that everyone else had had chocolate orange monkeys in bags on their tables all along and declared it a fix. She started to shout and get angry. 

Then suddenly it was the start of the holiday and we were just arriving outside. I parked the car and took ages... being very fussy so that you could see it from the house. 

I suddenly became aware that I was Jessie Wallace and had only just realised, so I felt more confident. 

I locked the car and posted the keys through a letterbox which was in the middle of the driver's door of the car, then walked towards the house to start my holiday. 

Clever camera...

I was able to take photographs of past events by standing at exactly the right spot in front of large buildings. 

If I got it right, the photographs were amazing magical snapshots of ordinary people's lives throughout history. 

If I got it wrong however, the photograph would end up being of a huge black shadow of the building which would then start to grow larger and try to absorb you. 

Trapped...

I dreamt I was running a cafe for fussy people and large dogs. The dogs had to be on a lead and were only allowed to sit in threes. 

I also dreamt I lost my emotions and that I was raising money for the numbers 21 and 41 which apparently had been kidnapped and were being kept tied up, trapped and kept prisoner in a Sunday. 

I had terrible trouble explaining my cause and persuading people it was worth donating to, because no one liked maths.  

I was aware that it was tragic and frustrating but as I had lost my emotions I just carried on anyway. 

I noticed that not only were the same people and dogs coming to the cafe each day, but also, that the exact same events and conversations occurred every single day. 

I realised suddenly that the rest of us were the ones that were really trapped and that 21 and 41 had in fact escaped. 

Happy Christmas

I dreamt that as it was so cold, Christmas was moved to June.  The traditional food was declared to be anything raspberry flavoured. I found a raspberry cheesecake I liked and hid it in a drawer under my bed. 

My nieces and mother were with me in a small room in an office building on 'Christmas day' eating bright pink ice cream sprouts. We were looking out at a side street when I saw my boss' boss (SMcG). She had been shrunken and had ice permanently stuck under her feet, so kept falling over. 

For some reason none of us found this funny. 

I discovered I could only go down stairs by throwing myself down them at breakneck speed, totally out of control. 

In this way I arrived in a room where my Dad was painting the walls with white gloss paint.   Everyone immediately started to shout at me that the paint was wet and it seemed no matter where I moved to, it was wrong, as the paint was wet there too. 

In the end everyone pushed me outside with annoyance.  It had been raining and I noticed that I could see scenes from the future in droplets of water. I walked along studying what was going to happen but didn't see a big hole so fell down it. 

Who'd argue over me!?.....

Well no one!  But this is a dream ;-)

My husband and I were walking through Cardiff past a very tall, posh looking apartment block. I noticed a car driving along the roof and somehow recognised my friend Ann driving. 

In the dream I remembered her saying that she lived in such a place and that she had her own parking space on the roof.  Both my husband and I looked carefully at the interestingly shaped building and couldn't see how on earth cars could get up there, so concluded there must be something clever going on round the back. 

When I looked up again and waved to Ann, I saw there was a party in full swing. Everyone was dressed in a most provocative and unusual way and from what we could see it was clear it was a fancy dress sex party/orgy. 

Ann waved at us and beckoned for us to go up. My husband didn't want to and said we'd come out to go shopping but I wanted to go and said it would be a bit of fun. 

In the end I went on my own and as I went up in the glass lift, I could see that each floor had its own roof. 

I also seemed to acquire an appropriate outfit whilst in the lift, which I'd best not describe for fear of upsetting certain people that may be reading!  

Once up there, I saw two men I knew, but who seemed to know each other...which surprised me. One was a friend (M) and the other I can only presume was a figment of my imagination. 

They seemed to be arguing and I remember thinking 'uh-oh' as I tried desperately to back away and run back downstairs before they saw me... but it was too late. 

Suddenly the three of us were on a beach on Pendine sands. We could see that thousands of people were trying to get to the sea but were being held back by police. 

We were the only three allowed on the beach. In one direction was a never ending crowd of people pushing hard to try to get past the police and in the other direction, the sea. In between was a huge sandy beach with only us on it... and the open top car we were stood next to. 

The two men were arguing over who owned me and the argument seemed to involve bedsheets stained with blood which were being waved around angrily. I sat in the car with an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and that this would not end well. 

I noticed there were three mattresses on the floor in an allotment which had appeared on the beach nearby and I wanted to go to sleep but as I tried to walk away, both men grabbed an arm without even looking at me or stopping their argument. 

Eventually they decided to try to coax me to pick one or the other and each one opened a trunk to show me items to represent how my life would be as their slave. 

I had better not describe the items!  

I chose one trunk not knowing who it belonged to, but the argument broke out again and this time it seemed to be about shaving. 

I suddenly realised that the crowd had broken through and were running towards us, so I started the car and drove off with both men hanging on being pulled behind. The crowd were impossibly fast and I drove faster and faster until I realised I was heading for the sea and couldn't stop. 

Safari...

I was the only person living in a safari park with all the animals. I was trapped there. People could see me through many cameras but I couldn't see them.

I could speak to them at any time by just speaking out loud, they would answer, but while I was speaking, the animals became aware I was there and could potentially attack. While I stayed quiet they were oblivious and I was safe.

I occasionally found photos which was a rare treat because by touching on something on a photo it appeared next to me in real life. I had to be careful picking them up though as if they were face down I didn't know what I was touching!

One day I found a photo of a 19 day advent calendar full of Clare and Tonys in a tree and I knew that once I got to the end and opened all the days of the calendar, I'd be free.

Sorry Gwyn.....again!!

Apologies in advance to Gwyn who yet again has a starring role in last night's dream!

I arrived at an office for work still feeling tired. My work colleague Andrea asked me if I'd seen Gwyn's wardrobe. I said I hadn't so she told me that I must see it and started to lead me off somewhere. 

We were outside Gwyn's flat which was in the same building as the office. I knocked on the front door and I remember thinking that it was odd that we were going to meet at last but I didn't feel very prepared as I hadn't done anything to my head since waking up 

I still had a complete mess of tangled bed head hair, a creased unmade up face and I didn't seem to be able to open my eyes. 

Gwyn let us in without saying much. Andrea dragged me round as I could barely see. I really couldn't open my eyes. It was a bit like being very tired, but more like trying to open your eyes into bright strong light. The best I could do was squint and I had my hands over my face the whole time too. 

Despite this I did manage to just about see Gwyn's flat as I was being shown it. 

Andrea was very enthusiastic as she showed me his wardrobe which was in fact a walk in wardrobe. A huge wood lined room which was completely empty. She was impressed because it was empty and clutter free. 

She led me to the rest of the flat which seemed to have only bedrooms and wardrobes and they were all similarly empty and tidy. Eventually we went into the master bedroom which was dark, quiet and wood lined. There was a triple bed with beautiful tapestry style bedding on and Gwyn was sat in the middle as Andrea chatted away about how it was a feather bed and what a lovely outlook the flat had. 

Again, I was aware of covering my face and only being able to squint through my fingers to look outside. 

Andrea left then without any fuss or announcement and I suddenly remembered that this was my first meeting with Gwyn and how acutely embarrassed I felt about how I looked. 

I tried to strike up a conversation but I couldn't see at all now as my eyes wouldn't open even a bit. I had one hand over my face and the other trying to feel my way round the walls of the room. 

The whole situation suddenly struck me as funny and I started to get the giggles. As usual once I'd started I couldn't stop and I was on the floor crying with laughter, giggling away like Mutley!

I still couldn't see but I could hear Gwyn laughing at me laughing. More and more until it was ridiculous. 

I woke up from this dream giggling in reality so much that I was making the bed shake so I had to get out of bed and leave the room for fear of waking Mr C!!!

Exhausting...

I was in Pontypool trying to find Gwyn’s flat.  I kept seeing vans with his name and his logo on it and trying to follow them, but other cars got in the way or I ended up turning the wrong way on a one way street causing cars to slam on their brakes and beep at me angrily.

I was then in Gwyn’s flat and he wasn’t there, but I was making him a meal.  For some reason I made him a meal of rice, mashed potato, scrambled egg and beans....all stone cold!  He arrived home and wouldn’t let me heat it up but insisted on eating it cold so I ate mine cold too.  It was horrible!

Then suddenly I was in London trying to fit too much into a day, I had attended a course but wanted to meet up with a friend (M) for a drink and to hide with him in a pub box (?!) which he had hired, so I  tried to alter my ticket so I could go on a later train, but they wouldn’t let me change it and by the time I had queued up and been told this, my original train was leaving and I missed it.  I was aware that it was already 6pm and that I was going to be late for Welsh class.

I was in a room then and was playing a strange game with M and other unidentified people.  It involved slotting a contraption together and transferring ash through weird shaped holes without spilling it!

I was then walking up the road to see Gwyn (again! Sorry Gwyn) who in the dream lived just up the road.  While walking up I saw a blue mini (old classic one) squeeze through an impossibly tight space by sucking its sides it!  I remember thinking that I hoped mine could do that.  I went into Gwyn’s house and somehow ended up behind his house, naked, on a railway track with my mini parked right on the track.

Other people had managed to climb up, back into the house but I really couldn’t manage to hoist myself up no matter how many people tried to help me.  I also said that having to climb over a piano and into a small high window really wasn’t helping.  A German woman living in the house (not a redhead sorry ;-) said that I had a point, because being German she knew how to polish tables properly and I was likely to slip on it!!

I suddenly realised I could walk around anyway and ended up in a small loo trying to find clothes to put on.  All I could find was a yellow suspender belt which was tiny, but as you pulled it, a load of poppers undid and it got to any size you wanted so I made it into a suspender dress and put it on.

I walked into the house pulling my mini in behind me and sat at a table which was far too close to another table and I ended up fighting with the people on the next table while someone was trying to sell me a kitchen.

I picked up a glass which I knew was filled with the poison they give you at the Dignitas clinic and I decided I wanted to taste it, but as I didn’t want to die or get ill, I just sipped it, then spat it down the sink.  It was a very very strong taste and I tried to find something to drink or eat to get rid of the taste, but everything I tasted didn’t taste like it should anymore.  So tea tasted of lemons and cake tasted of sprouts etc and it was all very confusing and disconcerting.

I decided to go out in the mini for a drive and a man that had been there all along started to ask questions about my phone.  He said he had a blackberry and could track me wherever I went.

I drove off into the countryside but somehow still managed to speak to him while I was in the car and he stayed in the house  (it wasn’t over the phone).  I was aware he was tracking me so I tried to confuse him by saying I was going one way then going another but he knew not only where I was but exactly what I could see.

He told me that he now owned me and that I was under his control but I just kept on driving hoping I could escape. 

Worrying...?

My dreams really are very strange.  Should I be worried I wonder? 

Riddles...

There was a shop which was both a shoe shop and a sweet shop but actually sold neither.  It was halfway down a hill and through the shop was the only way down if you wanted to continue with your journey and get to the rest of the world.

To get through you had to buy a sandwich from them, but you had to correctly identify the appropriate sandwich filling which they had selected for you based on your personality and lifestyle.  I correctly identified 'slippery cheese' (?) but then had to solve a series of riddles too.

To make it harder they didn't tell you what the riddles were, they just let you wander off and expected you to come back with answers.

I wandered about and collected answers by recording them on my phone, either audio, video or photo.   I got the answers by doing various things.

Firstly, I went to the top of the hill and slid down again on my sandwich.  

Then, I was at a garden party where there were a number of children. They al had drinks but some of them were upside-down.  I turned the drinks the right way up and refilled them with cherryade.  I gave one little girl a glass of ice cubes.

Some tourists asked me for help identifying baby birds.  There were loads of them around, but some of them were not completely one type of bird.  I identified a half bullfinch, half robin bird and then the people all disappeared.

I was then inside at something like an 'evening do' at a wedding.  I was by a control panel with lots of coloured buttons that lit up if you touched them.  Someone shouted they were doing a sound check and as each speaker in the room made a brief noise, I had to hit the corresponding button.  I wasn't fast enough so the music came on so loud it felt like my ears were bleeding and I could only get out if I danced to a whole song.

Once outside I was stood on the steps of a stately home and I saw a horse and cart draw up with a documentary in the back.  It was about Prince William and Kate Middleton.  In the documentary, it was saying that William had met Kate in Sixth form but the royal family hadn't approved so he had to dump her and marry Princess Diana!  In my dream this didn't seem odd at all!  But then, he had stood up to them and said he didn't like Diana because she looked like a doughnut and was back with Kate.  As I watched the documentary I remember thinking that all three people in it were actually Kate Middleton anyway which made it boring to watch and hard to follow so I wandered off.