Total Pageviews

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

A fantasy adventure...

It has been AGES I know and I doubt anyone drops by to read this anymore but following a few nights with horrible disturbing dreams, last night’s was so welcome as it was truly wonderful, magical and almost like dreaming a fantasy film!  So I just had to blog it!
I met up with a friend (Arty) on a bridge over a motorway somewhere.  It was grey and cold - the both of us even looked grey.
He had brought with him a bag of sweets that were like a cross between chocolate buttons and those flying saucer sweets with sherbet in the middle.  They glowed too, so when he opened the bag, a wonderful golden light shone out and lit up our faces as we looked down at the contents of the bag.  The contents looked almost like they were semi cartoons and they sparkled like stars.
We each took one of the sweets, put it under each others’ tongues and held hands tightly, as it felt like we were sucked up from earth and transported up into space, the coldness and sensation was unpleasant at first, but as the blue sky changed into darkness and the earth got further and further away, we were surrounded by star encrusted darkness and it felt warm, safe and like we were floating.
We each got one wish and so in turn we silently wished, then waited as we were swept away to a distant planet.  Once on the planet, it was like we were waking up.  The first planet was a secluded beach.  Warm with gentle waves, so clean and so beautiful.
We walked hand in hand to a cave in the cliffs which was set up like the inside of a country cottage with a fire, which despite the warmth outside, was most welcome.  There was a grandfather clock ticking loudly and a bird which seemed to live in the room but had no cage - I think it was a Goldcrest. :) 
We sat and drank tea out of red woollen cups (?!) in front of the fire then ran out on to the beach hand in hand - we both seemed to be able to run without was more like flying really.  We ended up lying on the beach and then comes the X rated bit ;-)  I will leave that to your (I am sure more than adequate) imagination!
Afterwards, as we lay on the sand cuddled up together, we were suddenly sucked up into space again, floating past the moon (inexplicably there were a lot of crows flying around there).  
Once again then, we felt we were being taken to a different planet and we woke up inside an igloo but wrapped up warm in fur coats, hats and boots!  We went outside, once again hand in hand and it was as though we were in a huge factory made entirely of ice and snow with penguins waddling around making autumnal trees.  Although the trees were the right colour.....gorgeous golds and reds.....they were also made of ice and sparkled, making them even more beautiful than usual.
We both got in a boat that seemed to be on smooth water, although it was actually ice and we set sail out of the factory and on to a river which again.....felt like water but was in fact ice.  If you looked down you could see through the ice to a whole civilisation below where people, animals birds and fish all seemed to co-exist in the same environment.
There was enchanting music playing and I suddenly noticed that it was dark, we were in a forest of the beautiful sparkling, glowing autumn ice trees and we had a fire lit on the boat with us, keeping us warm as we snuggled together.
I often dream an emotion and can wake up crying or giggling my head off (shaking the bed sometimes), and at this point in the dream I felt the most incredible love, happiness and contentment.  We snuggled closer and closer, never feeling close enough.... before being sucked up again into space but this time we were tied to kitchen chairs and we got separated.  I watched Arty on his chair disappear further and further into the distance but I knew that there were lots of the magical sweets left in the bag so didn’t feel too sad as I understood there were more adventures to come.
My chair hurtled towards earth and I had that horrible lurching, falling feeling just before waking up!  
And that was my night - how was yours!? ;-)

Saturday, 29 October 2011

Asda or Narnia?

It's been a while (again!), I know but I just feel the need to share this one. It's lurking in my brain ;-)

I was with a friend and we needed to get some shopping but she was scared to go in the Asda I took her to as she thought it would be full of 'unsavoury people'!

I told her that all shops were closing in 17 minutes so there was simply no time to prevaricate!

She kept stopping people to ask them if someone could be chavvy and gentle at the same time?  Everyone she asked just looked confused so I just said 'look....I'd shop there in the dark with two murderers on the come on!!'

So we headed for the entrance but the security man was just locking up. It was ten minutes to closing time. I persuaded him to let us in though and he did. 

Once in, it turns out that the interior of the shop was a cross between narnia, a skating rink and the most beautiful architecture. 

The inside of the building was made up of the outside face of many wonderful distinctive and historic white buildings.  The ceiling was a breathtaking jumble of coloured and golden gleaming domes. 

The floor was a carpet of snow, covering hills and slopes but you could ice skate on it round and round the main circular route. As you skated, in the middle of the circle you would pass old hollow tree stumps and little caverns. These were the 'shelves' where the groceries were kept. 

As you whizzed around (with hand made, multi level, oak trollies), you grabbed the groceries. If you needed to ask where something was, a member of staff would sense it and pop up at just the right time. 

I remember asking for weetabix crunchy bran and BBQ beans! Hopefully not to eat together! ;-)

There were some annoying 'realistic' aspects to the dream.  A small child having a tantrum lying in everyone's way that we all had to jump over, being out of stock on my favourite things and an annoying woman that took everything off my trolley and ate my pork and apple bap because she 'thought I'd finished with it'!  Ok.....not sure that last bit was totally realistic ;-)

It was a race to the checkout caves where a mystery operative scanned my groceries in the dark (I seem to have lost the friend by now)! 

I was asked to guess the price and I correctly guessed 29 urkles and 14 shells!  My prize was a cloak and a key. I was given this by a mystery man who grabbed my hand as he handed them to me. He was shaking. He whispered in my ear..... 'soon' and I noticed his breath smelt of almonds. 

As I left I looked back and it was a regular Asda with glass frontage and the lights being switched off one by one. It started to rain so I hurried to pack up the shopping. The last thing I put in the car was the cloak and the key and I really felt so desperate to find out what they were for. 

I started the car and drove off. The radio came on. It was like the presenters were talking in usual tones as if they were speaking quite normally but every single word was 'soon'. This freaked me out so I switched channels.  The same!  I turned it off but it carried on!!

I panicked and crashed the car into a wall but I ended up the other side of it in a world where everyone wore cloaks and carried a key round their necks. 

And all I can remember!! :-/

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Hello again! :-)'s been a while.  I HAVE had some cracking dreams, but last night was so mad and is still going round and round my head so I just had to record it.

I lived behind a magic shop and every day to get into my house I had to perform some sort of task.  On this particular day I had to tune in a miniature metal wind chime to the key of H!  Becci (one of the hairdressers I go to) was holding it and I had to tune each metal piece to fit in with the tones in a computer game her little boy was playing.

I managed this and got through to where Lauren and Jo (my friend and another hairdresser!) were taunting me with mirrors.  I wasn't sure which way was really there and which way was a reflection.  I eventually got through to outside where there was an outside shower cubicle at the end of the garden.  I went in but there was a dog having a shower and also an oven in my way.

I kept calling them to move the unwanted additions to my shower but I was locked in and had to work around them.  When I came out they laughed at me and threw giant pegs at me which left bruises.

I set off on my bike to go to Marloes or Pembrey.  I realised 5 minutes down the road that Marloes was well over an hour even in a car and thought better of it so I saw a roundabout up ahead and decided to cycle all the way around and head back home.

As I started to cycle home it was suddenly icy and my bike wheels couldn't get a grip.  I didn't fall off but I was skidding all over the place.  I noticed that Jeremy Clarkson and the others from Top Gear were stood on the pavement filming me and doing a running commentary of why they hated cyclists.

I got past that area and noticed that it was now hot and sunny.  Every now and again I would see a still, partially transparent image of my husband doing a ghost of a snapshot in time.

If I tried to cycle past, I would end up getting stuck in loops of time so I realised I was actually in a computer game and I had to cycle through the images of my husband, smashing them.  I heard a dinging noise as I did so and I gained points and occasionally an extra life!

I eventually got to a farm where all the people and animals had faces of people I knew but not bodies to match.  I had to poke people I didn't like and caress those I did.  If I chose a bad person to like or a good person to dislike, I would lose a life.

I got into a field and it was a very romantic place with sunshine, butterflies and flowers.  I was walking hand in hand with someone who was singing to me and making me tingle like they were shooting waves of magic electricity through my body. I thought I had won the game, but then a bull suddenly charged at us and we had to run and run.

We came to a cliff top and had to stop, but the bull ran towards us so we joined hands, closed our eyes and jumped off!

Despite sounding a bit scary at the end I really enjoyed the whole dream, the feeling of playing a game, meeting challenges and even the danger involved!

Phew - I feel better for getting that one out of my system!

Monday, 12 September 2011

No details.....

But just a brief post to record that I dreamt about dreaming last night. This is very confusing!

Friday, 9 September 2011

Tuesday, 6 September 2011


Dreamt I was being chased by a two headed, six foot kangaroo penguin.  Called George. There was also attack mould, strawberry chocolate evil and a nice dovecote.

So. Not a blog but a summary. The attack mould was really scary. It merged humans.

Sunday, 4 September 2011

An Island retreat...

I think what I will do is post less often - maybe when I think it's a particularly good dream or at least one I might like to record ;-)

I did say however that I would post today's, so being a woman of my word, here it is - not overly long, which is no bad thing at all!

Myself, my husband and my parents were living on a cliff-top island.  We had a dining table out in the middle of nowhere, near the cliff edge and were sitting eating.

It suddenly started to go grey, misty and wet and a friend arrived in her car (not sure how, on an island but that's the least of my worries with some of my dreams)!!

Anyway we all rushed in to the house and stood looking out of rather lovely grand windows, all we could see was murky grey and all we could hear was the wind and the crashing waves.

Next day I woke up to find my friend had already gone out.  She had woken up and had only then realised, what an amazing stunningly beautiful place she had come to.  The sky was blue, the sea a most amazing turquoise and there was no one else about.  I could see her down on the beach running into the sea and laughing and it made me feel happy.

I noticed that she had attached a cork tile to the sky and nailed her toothbrush and toothpaste to the underside of it (as you do)!

Just then we suddenly had an earthquake and huge cracks appeared beneath our feet.  We all ran screaming and ended up in a village full of Victorian houses.

All the residents were complaining about the damage and blaming us, as we had built the houses!  I said that we certainly didn't as they were over 100 years old, but they said the former owner of our house HAD, so it amounted to the same thing!

They would not see sense and all had huge buckets of black tar, telling us that we needed to use it to glue their houses back together.

We gave in and started to fill all the cracks with tar.

And I am afraid the ending is no more exciting than that :(

But feel free to make something up....maybe in one of the houses there was an orgy going on and we all joined in!  ;-)

Winding down...

I'll record last night's dream here later, but I'll wind this down soon.

I know that some used to read and stopped, some (I think) have a brief look out of be nice :-) Those who do read it still, I am sure will get bored of it soon enough ;-)

I don't look back at them as often as I used to myself even, so I'm sure my time would be better spent doing something else. Everything ends. Whether you want it to or soon I think it'll be time to leave the dreams behind and concentrate more on real life. Whatever that is! ;-)

Saturday, 3 September 2011

An audio abduction!

As a one off silly thing to do I have done an audio version of my dream!  You SHOULD (if I do it correctly) find it right at the bottom of this page, near the list of previous posts!  

If SOMEONE could let me know if it works I would be most grateful! :-)

Last night's dream started with myself, my husband and my father sitting round a dining room table somewhere, discussing our plans to set up our own business 'doing accents'! (?)   I should add none of us can actually do accents!

Anyway we ran out of biscuits - a clear disaster in anyone's book I am sure so I set off to the local supermarket to get some.

Once there I bumped into a girl who looked stressed as she desperately needed 12 sachets of low fat hot chocolate and they only had 9.  She looked like her world was coming to an end and  asked me when they refilled the shelves and I confidentially answered 3am!

She nodded and at that moment a bloke appeared, and led her away roughly by the arm.  As I left the supermarket she was stood by a wall crying so I stopped to check she was OK.  She said yes, but  then ran off and I could see her join a group of people up ahead.

As I caught up with them I could hear that they were all talking in rhyme and that everything they said was really funny.  They were all absolutely rocking with laughter so I carried on my way feeling glad she was OK.

I walked to the bus stop and I was surprised to realise that I was waiting for a bus.  I don't quite know why this surprised me, but it did.  The bus arrived, we all got on and as soon as we were on, the driver said he was from Somalia and was abducting us all.  He said we could keep our phones but were not under any circumstances allowed to use them.

It all felt very real and very frightening and my first instinct was to do a surreptitious text to my husband to say 'help I am being abducted'.  Something told me that I would regret it if I did though, so I tucked my phone into my bra and just decided to wait to see what happened and to try to stay calm.

The girl next to me however did try to send a text.  The Abductor was outside and she felt safe, but as soon as she did, he was instantly next to her and crushed the phone in her hand.  He dragged her off and we didn't see her again.

He drove us off somewhere, but then stopped at a bus stop and three blokes got on.  When they realised what was happening they tried to attack the abductor but he had no problem in overpowering all of them.  He threw them off the moving bus...without opening the doors first. 

We ended up on an old industrial estate.  There were just three women left on the bus now.  The other two were hugging each other and crying but for some reason I still felt calm.  He got us all off the bus and took us into an old school.

I received a text on my phone.  I checked, but the abductor was preoccupied so I had a sneaky look.  The text turned into a piece of folded up paper in my hand.

With one last check to make sure he wasn't looking, I glanced at it.  It said 'remember Molly (one of our rabbits!) needs identification so she can get a passport'!  

I was still looking at this when the abductor suddenly banged sharply on the window and made me jump.  He beckoned to me to come outside and I panicked thinking that I was in trouble.  

Once outside he told me I wasn't dressed correctly and that he had wanted all of us outside not just me, as he was taking us for a meal.

I noticed I had pink silk pyjamas on which surprised me, so I headed back in and we all had a frantic search for decent clothes.  I found a black outfit which was covered in white mould.

He seemed happy enough though and gave us all a very long slice of brown bread and a brick of corned beef each (!)

After this 'meal' we were ushered back in and I noticed a small toy on one of the desks.  It was a cross between a car and a helicopter and it looked like it had been dipped in gold paint.  I found that if you repeatedly pulled it backwards, it would zip off forwards.  I did this but after 'driving' forward a bit, it took off into the air as the helicopter function took over!

It flew around a bit then crashed and fell behind a cupboard.  I went to pick it up and it started to talk to me! It was very upset that someone had left it behind, choosing instead to play with its predecessor, the mark II which couldn't even fly!
It was MOST upset and put out about it   

The abductor came in and said he didn't know what to do now, as he hadn't really thought it through!  He asked us, if he got us all an ice cream, would we just call it quits and forget about it, so I said yes please, took the ice cream and walked home!

Friday, 2 September 2011

Alphabet strangeness and mini madness

Well last night's adventure started with me mowing the lawns but everywhere I'd mown had turned cream :-/ 

When I got to the bit of lawn behind the sheds, I suddenly got hit on the head by the letter Y. I suddenly realised that RT and an old friend were fighting, by standing as far away from each other as they could and throwing giant letters at each other. 

Also they were both in fancy dress. :-/

I asked what on earth they were doing and they both stopped and stared at me as if I'd just asked the most peculiar question ever. 

They both said in unison 'a b c d e f g' then got back to fighting. I shrugged and tried to carry on mowing but the mower had disappeared. 

I decided to move some logs instead but for some reason I was moving them by standing over them, legs apart, crouching down and using my inner thighs to roll the logs by swaying my hips side to side!

Suddenly my friend had a huge X sticking out of his chest. He'd been hit. RT was most upset saying it was only meant to be a game. 

RT and I bundled the friend into the back of my mini and set off for hospital but my mini only had three wheels so it was a bumpy ride!

Suddenly we were all out of the car and I was driving it by remote control! It swerved, went through a hedge and I somehow managed to drive it UNDER a blue Volvo! 

The people in the house came out and the owner of the Volvo didn't seem too annoyed. He just tutted and went back in. 

My mini was pulled out and had no roof. I thought about just carrying on driving it as an open top sports mini, but before I could decide, an insurance man popped up next to me. 

He said my insurance would cover repairs to both cars but my mini would have to be taken away now and sit in the waiting room. 

I asked why it couldn't wait at my house and the insurance man looked very shifty and kept looking over to the people from the house who also looked shifty. 

I got very suspicious and put the mini, RT and the other friend into a wooden cart (don't ask me how!) jumped on a horse and rode away pulling the cart behind me! 

There was then a boring bit about writing reports up at work but the horse bit is a better ending ;-)

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Boobs and bras (with added alien monks and marzipan hair dye)!

It is official - my subconcious is obsessed with bras and boobs!

I was in Leekes (a shop) and I found a strange bra.  It was really gorgeous and soft and looked like it had no support at all, but when I tried it on, (I should add that I stripped off to do this in the middle of the shop!), it was incredibly supportive, sort of moulded itself to me and felt great.  It was comfortable yet really put my boobs where I wanted them to be.

I was very pleased and went around thrusting my boobs at random passers by.  I had two other bras that I had previously bought and wanted to return them, so I went to the tills but they weren't tills, they were comfy chairs.  I was just about to go to explain I no longer had the hanger but I did have the receipt, when it occurred to me that I hadn't bought them from there in the first place, so I went up to a cashier, said 'OH' and walked off!

I then went into a changing room to change back into my own bra but it was a barn and a very old friend Mandy was in there, with her husband Steve.  She was also getting changed and I happened to turn around while she was completely naked.  She went mad at me for seeing her naked and I said it was an accident and besides I didn't care.  I then proceeded to run up to her topless and really jiggle, shake and wave my boobs at her, almost hitting myself in the face in the process.

She just tutted at me and turned away, so I just shrugged, put the new bra back on, had that wonderful feeling of it sort of shrink wrapping itself to my body and making everything all firm, then I walked off, sticking my boobs out as far as I could!

I suddenly became aware that my new bra consisted of tiny alien monks (!) that were all holding me in position and that they were processing lots of information about my size and shape and how I moved, to feed back to their planet!  The summary of their findings was '56'.

I got home and it was an unknown house, but was clearly my family home.  My sister and father were there and were packing to move house.  My Dad kept tipping out the contents of boxes I had packed telling me to pack them again, but better.  The contents got less and less each time and seemed to mainly consist of logs.  I decided I couldn't really be bothered to pack logs and threw them into a shed.

I was then suddenly in a hairdressers and I asked to become a redhead, so they gave me some red marzipan and told me to use it all up by softening it in my hands then rubbing it all on to my hair.  I sat to do this and hoped that the final colour wasn't quite as extreme as the colour of the marzipan.  It was very bright red.

I was sat there ages and ages and it seemed a never ending block of marzipan.  Meanwhile, there was a lot going on in the hairdressers.  People were gossiping and talking about some sort of scandal, running around and whispering in corners.

Eventually a young lad realised I hadn't got a mirror so gave me a small octagonal mirror that was too low so I had to duck down to see in it.  No matter what I did, there was always one bit of my hair that didn't have any red on it and I got really frustrated trying to put it all on while events around me got more and more chaotic!

One of the hairdressers was Kate Whittall - a friend I haven't seen for 15 years or more?

Suddenly ( a different dream?) I was upstairs in a terraced house somewhere, looking out of the window and my husband was sat in the next-door neighbour's front garden.

A couple got out of a car and started to go door to door.  They were clearly selling something and I shouted to my husband to hide!  But then I noticed they were selling all sorts of brushes so I said to stop them, as we needed brushes.  I started to run downstairs but I was topless (told you I was obsessed!) so I had to hold my boobs as I ran.

I discovered the sales people plus half the street in 'my' dining room and they all started to ask me to value the brushes!  

I picked up was like a cross between a nailbrush, a scrubbing brush and a charm bracelet!

It was the size of a pocket calculator, it had long, fine, soft bristles and on the reverse, each tuft of bristles had attached to it a silver lucky charm!  They looked really expensive, proper silver charms and I thought it was worth £23 so said as much only to have all the neighbours dive in to buy them before me.

I picked two up quickly, hid one underneath each boob and ran off down the road being chased with people with brushes!!

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

High speed chase, dodgy gifts and unusual dentists!

Well this one felt action packed!

It seemed to start straight away with a mad high speed chase...I am not sure if we were chasing OR being chased mind you, but something was making it necessary for us to be driving around at breakneck speeds.

We were in Cardiff and my husband was driving.  Straight off this becomes very unrealistic because I am the mad driver in the family! ;-) We were driving at such high speeds that he had NO control over the car at all, we were careering into people's gardens, hitting the walls of their houses, driving on pavements and scraping and banging the poor old car around something ridiculous!

Everything outside was just a blur as I held on for dear life, but for some reason my primary impression of the outside world was of large purple tubes!

There was also a tremendous thunderstorm going on, with really mad lightning and cracking thunder.  No rain though, which was weird (whereas everything else I dream is entirely sensible)! ;-D

Anyway it was bloody fantastic.  We were out of control, it was mad and dangerous and I loved it!  We ended up crashing into a police station in Splott (which is a real place by the way) and legging it down the road giggling the whole way!

I woke up then with a dead arm and turned over to have the following dream....

Someone called round to our house.  She looked like a Stepford wife and gave us a basket of fruit and potatoes from her garden and eggs from her hens.  We thanked her and came into the house thinking what a nice lady.  We noticed the potatoes had spikes which was a bit unusual (!) but didn't seem to think too much of it.

Then there was a loud banging on the door and a dishevelled looking woman burst her way into the kitchen shouting at us that the food was poisoned and that if we ate it we would turn into cats!

She said to be fair the eggs were probably OK but the fruit had been painted with cat DNA and wasn't safe to eat!

She looked around manically then ran out as quickly as she had appeared.  We stood there a bit nonplussed for a moment, commented on how ridiculous an idea it was, then put the fruit down anyway!

I felt silly, so said that I couldn't eat anything as I was just off to the dentist anyway.  

I got to the dentist by walking into the garden shed and the same manic woman was there telling other people about cat DNA and camels.  I tried not to catch her eye but she came over said she was glad I had obviously taken her advice and also told me she knew all about everything because she had been looking people's mothers up on Facebook (?!)

I was called in and the dentist asked me if I was doing my usual of not having anaesthetic - I said yes and he asked if I would take part in a trial.  I agreed and he started to work.  I could smell an unpleasant smell and put it down to the dentist having very bad breath.

Afterwards he explained that he had put tiny microscopic camels into the fillings of my teeth as new research showed that they would rebuild teeth from the inside.  I found this perfectly acceptable (!) so sat up to go, but suddenly thought my breasts felt odd.

I looked down and at the same time touched them and was horrified to see that they had turned into camels' humps and it was those that smelt so bad!  The dentist just said....'ah yes that can be one of the side effects..'!!

I was horrified and felt quite panicked by his attitude.  I asked if he could reverse it but he said no as I had agreed to the trial.

I ran out holding on to my humps and screaming about camels to everyone in the waiting room.  I saw the manic woman again and for the first time realised it was actually me!

I woke up after this dream a bit disturbed and the first thing I did was copped a good feel of my boobs....just to be sure!! ;-)

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Sickness, Christmas, nudity and bondage medical equipment !?

Quick whinge first. TERRIBLE night's sleep. I now feel a bit sick, headachy and dizzy!  

Also it was AGES after I woke up before the dream came back to me this time. Brain lag!

Aaanyway...I dreamt I was living in this (my) house, but lots of things were different including its location and I was still living with my parents. 

It started with me running to the downstairs loo, not making it in time and being sick all over my clothes and the floor. (nice)!

I took all my clothes off but for some reason wandered off before cleaning up or getting dressed again. 

I was in a huge yard then and had to dash to work which was in a ditch somewhere and involved watercolours (?)

I got on my bicycle and zipped off at top speed all the way down Brickfields Road.  I didn't realise I had a flat tyre until I got to the bottom and had to walk up again :-/

Once I was back home I offered to clean up my earlier mess but ended up tidying everything. For some reason the whole house was full of Christmas gift tags and pegs, which I tried to stuff into already full draws (full of Christmas gift tags and pegs)!

My dad came in with a small stuffed toy in the shape of a Christmas tree and placed it proudly on the settee. It was old and a bit manky :-/

My husband then turned up and told me he had built a cellar out of wood and chicken wire so I went down to look. 

It was very low so I had to crawl. It got lower and lower until it came to a point and I was trapped. The ceiling was also made of chicken wire but suddenly, ahead of me, a football dropped from high above, seemingly through the chicken wire into the space ahead of me. 

I knew my husband had done it to show off somehow and I shouted to ask how he'd done it. He didn't answer. I shouted and shouted but no answer came. 

I noticed that beyond the end of the cellar was a school or office building. There were a fair few people milling about with books and files. They looked at me as I shouted but no one came to help or ask if I was ok!

My uncle Owen appeared and was  very impressed with the cellar and mystified about the dropping football. He asked my husband how he'd done it and then....THEN he turned up straight away to explain!  I got really cross that he continued to ignore me as I tried to get his attention to no avail. 

I got all worked up and upset and was shouting but no one paid any attention.

It may have been a separate dream then as I was in a restaurant and bit into a ham roll only to find it had lettuce in it. The taste hit me first then a horrible crunching noise. 

Quite disgustingly, I pulled everything out of my mouth, removed anything green, then put it back in again!

A woman at the next table was retching really loudly so I turned to look. She looked most unwell and she just managed to apologise for doing that while I was eating but explained she was allergic. I said I was just as bad with my lettuce experience and not to worry. She looked at me as if I'd just spoken in Martian so I decided to leave. 

When I got home I tried to weigh myself but it varied by a few stone depending on where the scales was. I found the lowest reading and left it there, but I couldn't see the display because it was suddenly covered by a pink and white stripy paper carrier bag. 

I looked in it to find lots of wonderful, luxury, hand made old fashioned sweets.  They all looked amazing!  Also in there was a red silky negligee which I held up and realised it was a size 10. 

My friend Jules was suddenly there and I remarked to her that it was way too small. The whole bag was a birthday present off my team so I rang Lauren to thank her. I didn't like to mention that the negligee was too small though. 

I tried to walk away but realised I was tied to a pole in the middle of the room. My ankles and wrists were tied with blood pressure monitors and chains! 

I decided to sit cross legged, wrapped around the pole and eat all the sweets!

Monday, 29 August 2011


I was walking through a town centre somewhere at night. It was quiet. Not many people about. For some reason I was only wearing a long, white, old fashioned night gown.

I got into some sort of argument with some young people but we all ended up friends and playing with a skipping rope!

 I noticed a doctor's surgery and  walked up to it. There was a sign that said 'are we open over the bank holiday?' underneath, a doctor had written 'polish my arse!'

For some reason this amused me so 
I decided to break in (?!)  I got through the front door easily and found the same sign 'polish my arse' on the reception desk. 

I decided it would be amusing to get into the doctor's office and make the seat of his chair so highly polished that he would slide off it. 

Unfortunately however, I couldn't unlock that door so I mooched about in reception.  There was a cupboard that turned out to be a fridge filled with soft drinks. I toyed with the idea of pinching a can of diet coke but thought better of it. 

The light from the fridge however, particularly when reflected off my white nightgown, had attracted attention. A passer by looked in and saw me. 

I panicked and shouted that I'd broken in because I was ill. She nodded and rushed off, shouting that she would get help. 

Everything suddenly changed. My nightgown became a white bath towel wrapped around me and both me and the passer by were in a busy casualty department of a hospital. 

I tried to run and hide but there were so many people there looking at me so....(this has got to be one of my weirdest bits of a dream ever).....I turned myself into a tray of three plum tomatoes!

I then managed to hide under a bench seat but I realised that I was slowly cooking and turning into tomato mush. 

I was aware that a team of medical staff were still looking for me and in the end they found me. 

Everyone was shocked at how poorly I was (but not about the fact that I was human tomatoes!) and I could see parents covering the eyes of small children who screamed when they saw me!

The dream ended when a doctor used a defibrillator on me, I had a huge shock and woke up!

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Where to start...?

Yes...another marathon.  Many apologies...I will TRY to keep it as brief as I can but......well I am not known for my ability to do that!

The first bit I can remember, is where I was a slave to a gangster.  He had me on a lead and made me crawl everywhere, but in the way that a rabbit would run, so both arms had to always move together and both knees did too.   Now you have that ridiculous image in your head, let me expand on it a little.  I was crawling on ice and my job was to break the ice by jumping and skidding on it... and reveal the pavement beneath.  Once revealed the gangster could get people to stand on it and punch them!  

Somehow, this dream merged into the next where I was backpacking around the world with my Dad (a less likely scenario you could not imagine)!  We'd had a most fantastic time and we had arrived home, at the base of a mountain where we all lived as a family.  I really wanted to carry on backpacking, to see more of the world, but Dad was weary and wanted to go home, so we did.  We climbed up the mountain to a strange, topsy turvy little house perched on the top.

Once there we had a strange meal of garden cuttings and slugs (yes...slugs keep appearing lately in my dreams....can't think why! ;-), and we ate outside on a rickety old table with three legs.

The next bit of the dream was in a huge, but empty....almost derelict flat.  It was my home though and I was living there with another person, not sure who.  There were two huge living rooms.  One was completely wood lined, dark and just about warm enough to be in without too much discomfort.  The rest of the flat however, was absolutely freezing...really draughty and bitter cold.

In the other living room, me and this mystery person (male is all I know), were playing a game of both running from opposite ends of the room, jumping in the air, landing flat on our bellies (ouch!) and sliding as far as we could - it was a competition, great fun, not as painful as it would be in real life and managed to warm us up.

In this flat, there was an odd shaped bathroom where all the bathroom furniture was in a different cupboard in many nooks and crannies in the the loo was in one cupboard, the bath in another and so on.....I managed to find a small cupboard that seemed to disappear round a corner so I crawled in to investigate and found a secret room.  It also turned out that the flat next-door had a similar set up that led to the same room.

OK...I wasn't sure how much of this bit to put...maybe it should be completely censored, transpired that I had the same fetish as my neighbour so we would meet in the secret room for sex.  I shall not go into any further details and I won't say who the person is!  ;-)

So....on to the next bit then! :)

Back in the flat, with the other person I lived with....who was now female....we heard scratching and chewing in the ceiling which was now polystyrene and painted a horrible sickly, pinky-purply colour.  It was in such a bad condition that I could see up into the roof space and could see a rat in there.

I called it out and it obediently came out! I was stroking it, but I knew I also had to get it out of the flat, so I picked it up as gently as I could at the base of its tail but it curved round and bit me really hard.  Its teeth were deeply embedded in my hand and I was trying to use my other hand to prise its jaw apart.  

In the end I had to flick it off and I felt really bad about hurting it but it ran off and seemed ok.

I suddenly noticed that the flat was no longer a flat but a waiting room at a railway station.  I realised I was on a package holiday that involved going everywhere by train.  We all had to walk in procession down the platform, over a bridge and into the station cafe for our meal.

The only thing..... was that there was no ground.  Just planks of wood not very well lined up with huge gaps and nothing below, just a horrible long fall into nothing if you didn't stay on the planks!

The bloke behind me in the queue was identical to the bloke in front and I was very confused as to whether he was pushing in front of me or not, so decided to get cross with him anyway just in case!  There was a lot of dangerous jostling but we all survived into the cafe, where they were serving schoolboy and mushroom pie!!  I didn't have any because I don't like mushrooms!!!

It turned out the pies were poisonous and everyone else collapsed.  I wanted to take some of their plates (they were actually all plastic Disney dishes) as evidence, but they all dissolved.

Lots of police and ambulances turned up and following tests they told me I was dying anyway because I had caught 'instigitis' off the rat bite!!

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Half a dream and xxx rated omissions!

Oh dear. You're only going to get half a dream I'm afraid. the rest was genuinely too X rated. 

I was meeting people for the first time. Some off twitter and some off blipfoto. 

I was wearing a leek on a hat so everyone would know it was me. I was in a pub in Wednesbury and it was 1995 for a day.  I was wearing normal clothes except there were holes in my top and my breasts were out!

I sat in a dark corner and one by one people turned up to join me. They all looked disappointed when they saw me and just said 'oh' then sat down looking awkward. 

Eventually everyone was there and I noticed that most people were dressed as wombles. 

I wanted to get drinks so I went upstairs to a kitchen with Wombat,  to make teas and coffees but each time I came down with the tray there was a problem. 

First of all the mugs all started leaking, so I went back up to get more, then there was no tea or coffee, then there was no water. 

Then I got them all made ok, but when I got downstairs they'd all gone white because I'd put bleach in them, instead of milk. 

Then I got them all perfect but they disappeared halfway down the stairs. 

I decided to buy wine instead and found a dusty wine cellar but then I was covered in cobwebs and dust and as I looked at my reflection I felt extremely depressed. 

My teeth and nose had grown and someone had set fire to my hair (!) it was all melted and matted. 

I changed the wine to champagne and hoped people would let me off looking so vile. 

I got back to the pub but they'd gone,  so I decided to go upstairs to bed but there was a girl, her mother and a photographer there. 

Suddenly I was the girl. There was a kitchen in the bedroom filled with eye patches and ice cubes. The mother kept popping in there for supplies. There were also other interesting items in the main room. 

I'm afraid it gets X rated at this point. In fact it gets XXX rated, so please feel free to use your imagination. 

Sorry! :-/

Friday, 26 August 2011

A freezer themed dream?

Here we go again then. 

Dw i'n wedi blino iawn, achos  bob nos dw i'n breuddwydio gormod!  Sorry. Practicing my Welsh there!! husband and I were cycling around a 1960s housing estate. All the houses were well kept and large with lovely gardens. It was very quiet. 

We found the house we were looking for and knocked the door. A man answered, welcomed us, folded our bikes up and hung them outside his neighbour's front door. 

He explained it was the safest thing to do and that an old bye-law allowed it. 

We followed him for a tour of his house then somehow realised my bike had been stolen. He looked very shifty and I somehow knew it was deliberate and that he was involved. 

I asked him how I was meant to get home...he told me to walk and I explained I couldn't as I had blisters on my tongue!

I threatened to call the police and he reluctantly produced the 'missing' bike from a chest freezer. It had been tarted up so was better than before. I saw this as compensation and decided to let him off. I also really liked the fact that the saddle was nice and cold!!

I suddenly realised I was meant to be looking after a work colleague, Fiona...I dashed back to my parents' house and reluctantly had to let her eat the last flapjack.  

I realised I was carrying a suitcase full of oblong, flattened Christmas cakes around and offered her one. She seemed delighted with this and picked the marzipan flavoured one :-/

The house changed. I was suddenly in Liverpool in Anne-Marie's house. We were in the front garden and we noticed there was a tsunami coming. 

I told everyone to hold on but we all ran in the house and hid in the boot room. 

The water in the house was little more than a puddle, but Anne-Marie was upset she had no milk; luckily I had a sachet of hot chocolate in my bra. (?!)

She said she had various tv programmes in the deep freeze but she fancied either doctor who or snooker. 

I said I'd rather wait to watch doctor who in comfort. 

When she opened the freezer however it was all defrosted and the only thing that could be saved was a life sized blipfoto. 

It was covered in frost which was also that silver coloured stuff you get on scratch cards. 

We didn't know what the photo was or whose it was so we started to scratch off the surface using false teeth!

When revealed, we stood back and could see it was Roy, in black and white, dressed up as a silent movie star!  He came to life, walked towards me and was eating out of a paper bag. I thought it was a bag of sweets, so when he offered me one I took it, only to find he was actually eating a bag of frozen slugs!! ;-)

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Hospitals, weird stuff and a sexy game show...

OK... it's another long one....consider yourselves warned!

It started with me having a stroke!  Or at least my sub conscious mind's opinion of what it would be like to have one....which I have to say is pretty horrible. 

The left side of my body was weak so I couldn't walk. My left eye wouldn't shut, the left side of my mouth wouldn't smile and I could barely talk. 

I had a battle to get anyone to take me to hospital, then I was in the waiting room for hours panicking because I knew the quicker they acted, the better my chance of recovery.....and no one was doing anything. 

I kept trying to explain this to people but no one would listen. 

Somehow...time moved on and the stroke was no longer an issue but I was still in the hospital. 

I was with my husband and we bumped into Dara O'Briain. We got chatting and he told us we should go to one of his gigs. He gave us a list and we noticed he was coming to Swansea. 

He looked and said 'oh yes. It's now'!  He then ran off as he was late. 

It turned out the gig was in the room we were stood in so we sat in the middle of the floor. 

He started off by picking someone out of the audience that turned out to be my friend Jules. He introduced her, walked off stage and left her to it.  

She did several cartwheels, then stuck gold bubblewrap on her shoulder and (very obviously) while she was turned away, pulled a string which made fake vomit dribble out of the bubble wrap. 

Dara came back and said that was it, so everyone went except Heather Trott from eastenders.  She didn't feel well so I sat her down and offered to take her blood pressure. 

I went off to get a bp monitor thingy but on the way, I noticed I'd dropped hundreds of backs of earrings and bits of curtains all over the hospital corridor. 

I tried to pick them up but whenever someone walked past and touched one, it popped and jumped a few yards, like Himalayan Balsam seeds!

A matron came over to me and asked what I was doing. I explained and she came with me to take Heather's BP. 

It was lower than mine so she threw us all out. 

I refused to go saying that Heather wasn't well and I'd stay with her until it was sorted even if it took all night. 

Heather started to cry, then John Major appeared to throw me out. I started to run and he chased me down corridors. As I went through doors I deliberately didn't shut them properly to make him think I was more stupid than I am (!)

Eventually I hid in a loo and he couldn't find me, but when I left the loo, I realised I was in a game show with two of my male friends and one female friend. 

I won't name them to save embarrassing them!  

The idea of the game show, was that we all had to choose one person to have sex with, no one would know who had chosen who, but the director sent us off in pairs. 

After having sex we came back and watched on a screen as it was revealed who had chosen who...and why!

Much upset followed. Tears, accusations and arguments. 

At the end of it all the director told me I'd won and that my prize was a season ticket to watch the tin pot hat men.  :-/

And I wonder why I can't get up in the mornings!

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Special offer today only.....a photo!! ;-)

Last night's dream started with me in a bath (again) but there were others in the bathroom with me and we were chatting. 

My sister suddenly realised my dad had money and went tearing out to find him. I put on pyjamas that looked like this... 
...(you're spoilt with a photo today!) and ran after her, to try to persuade her to leave him alone. 

We didn't find Dad, but we were sat with Mam and I suggested that as I was now single (?!) my sister and I could live together. 

Can I just stop a moment to do this.......?


Thank you.  

If you knew how it went last time we lived together you'd understand.  ;-)

Anyway.....back to the dream.... I had a premonition within the dream, of the house we'd live in. It was gorgeous and all the doors were absolutely, stunningly beautiful stained glass but had no wall above them so the top couple of foot of the entire ground floor was open plan....if you see what I mean? :-/

I also had a premonition, (also known as a certainty), that she wouldn't pay her part of the rent. My whole premonition then got encased in blue glass (?!) and I told my sister and mother I'd buy a house on my own instead. 

At that moment my phone rang. The screen was unusually artistic and decorative; I answered and it was Roy telling me he'd read my blog and thought it was part of a book. 

Although he was ringing me I also knew he was upstairs, so I went looking for him, but when I got there it had turned into the back offices of Cardiff City Hall. 

I bumped into a girl and realised it was a younger version of myself wearing a purple jumper. 

We got chatting and 'she' told me she had 'sticky blood disorder' and had to take thinning drugs or she could die. 

I told her that I knew a girl who'd had that once and that she'd tragically died in her 20s....her name was Dawn. 

As I looked at her again, I realised it wasn't a younger version of me. It was actually Dawn and I was back in time, to the week before she died. 

I explained this and she thanked me, saying I had saved her life. To show her appreciation, she gave me a bra made of miniature angels that could only speak Welsh. 

If I leant right back and thrust my boobs out, they would lift me off the ground singing hymns in Welsh as they did so. 

And that's it.  Um....I must apologise for my subconscious mind's recent obsession with bras!!